Do you long for more balanced friendships?
Friendships work best when there’s an equal share of giving and receiving. The angels want you to spend time with your good friends and to enjoy balanced friendships. You attract others who have a similar energy to yours. When your energy or vibration is high, you naturally and effortlessly attract others who also have a high vibration. That is how the law of attraction works.
When you live from a place of high vibration, you raise the vibration of those around you. Your higher vibration infuses into their energy field and lifts their vibration. If they’re not prepared to accept this, they will move out of your life. Some friendships are not meant to last the distance. Others will want to be around you all the time and bath in your energy. This is fine as long as you don’t feel depleted afterwards.
Be aware of those energy vampires in your life who suck you dry, leaving you tired and exhausted after you spend time with them. It’s good to share your energy, your love with others, just be careful to not withdraw too much from your energy bank that you have nothing left for yourself. You need to practice self-care and self-love. You need to maintain a high vibration through doing things that fill you up – liking walking in nature or spending time with people and things you love.
We’re spiritually connected to everyone. We can use this sacred bond to heal our family, friends and ourselves. This message of unity comes from the angels via the flower, hibiscus. If you find yourself in a long-standing conflict with a family member or friend, you can ask your guardian angels to work with the other person’s guardian angels to help you resolve the tension. Those closest to us are our greatest teachers. They know how to push our buttons. Over and over.
When someone triggers us through something they say, as family members often do, accept this as an invitation to look inside ourselves for a crumb of truth in what they’re saying. We are often triggered by words or behaviour that exposes something inside us that we are unwilling to see. But it’s showing up as an invitation to unveil that which is hidden because it is time to us to face it, to accept it as part of us but not all of us. It’s not wrong, it just is. If we are judging their behaviour as wrong, disrespectful or hurtful, we can look for ways or times when we have acted in a similar manner. We may never do or say hurtful things to others, but have we done harmful things to ourselves? Are we treating ourselves with respect? With loving kindness? If our internal dialogue is abusive and disrespectful, the same lack of love and respect is mirrored back to us in our external environment. We attract abuse and disrespect from those around us.
When we accept that they are doing the best they know how, just as we are doing the best we know how, we gain peace. We have a sacred bond with our loved ones. We are all connected spiritually, so when we judge others, we judge ourselves. When we can forgive others, we are able to forgive ourselves. When we love ourselves, we have a greater capacity to love others.
Balanced friendships require sharing of giving and receiving. The angels ask us to look at our current relationships and consider whether they are nurturing and fulfilling, or draining and tiring. We need to be honest with ourselves. True friends are those we can call upon at any moment for support. They’d drop everything and come to our aid, and we’d do the same for them. As sensitive beings, we have a desire to help others. However, people can take advantage of our generous nature by asking for too much. This can leave us conflicted or resentful about our relationship, or drained and depleted. There needs to be an equal share of give and take. An unhealthy and unbalanced relationship will only bring us exhaustion. The angels want us to let go of any unbalanced relationships and move into new, mutually giving and respectful relationships. They want us to have balanced friendships.
Because we are all connected in spiritual truth, we are never alone; our energy is naturally intertwined with others. As one person’s energy grows and heals, everyone else is positively influenced. So by focussing healing upon yourself, by focussing on healing relationships with others, we can heal those around us. When we send healing prayers to others, we’re also sending loving wishes to ourselves.
Ho’oponopono is an ancient Hawaiian healing prayer, thought to have originated as a way to correct the wrongs in someone’s life. Ho’oponopono means to make right. Essentially, it means to make it right with the ancestors, or to make it right with the people with whom you have relationships. It’s not about saying what the other person did was wrong or right. It has nothing to do with others. It’s about making it right for you by cleaning up what is in you that is causing you to be triggered by others. It’s about forgiving and loving that part of you that you may not have been willing to acknowledge was even there.
We can use the Ho’oponopono process whenever we are faced with an adverse situation, when we’re triggered by others or when we find ourselves in an undesirable place in our lives. Firstly, we ask ourselves questions like: What is it in me that is causing this event to take place? What is it in me that causing this person to behave this way? What is it in me that is causing this sickness to manifest? What is it in me that is preventing my dreams being fulfilled? This is not about blame of any kind. Blaming others just ensures the problem remains or recurs. Blaming yourself is not helpful either. It is however, about you accepting full responsibility for the other person’s actions. Accepting responsibility is not about blame. Blame implies you or another person did something wrong. Accepting responsibility allows you to do something about the situation. It is empowering.
How I Use Ho’oponopono
The Ho’oponopono prayer is a forgiveness prayer and involves repeating the following statements over and over as a mantra. “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.” This is the sequence I like to use, others may use them in a different order.
You can practice using the Ho’oponopono process everyday. An example of how you can use it, could include the following scenario. You have lunch with a friend and you feel hurt about a comment she made or something she did or didn’t do. You get home and you stew on it, you complain to your partner and you get angry with the kids for not doing what you asked. Instead of feeling upset or angry about the situation or trying to get your friend to apologise or change in any way, you turn your attention inside and ask yourself “What is it inside me that is causing my friend to be so nasty?” Then you say the mantra over and over. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you. You might be surprised how quickly the situation changes. She might ring and apologise or you clear up a misunderstanding. Or not. You might just not be triggered by her. Keep in mind this mantra is about forgiving and loving the part inside you that is causing others to act in a way that is upsetting you, it is not about wanting or trying to force others to change.
You can use this same process if you witness a stranger yelling at someone. You don’t need to know the people involved, or be personally involved yourself. Ask yourself “What is it in me that is causing this person to be so angry?” Focus on yourself and chant the mantra. This shifts your vibration which in turn, snowballs out to others because we’re all connected, and changes the vibration of others and the situation. Don’t expect the situation to change, just notice what shows up. Observe what’s different about you and about the situation.
Another example of how to use the mantra is if you are experiencing pain in your body. Hold your attention on the area of your body where you are feeling the pain and repeat the mantra. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you. If you like, you can add extra words that feel right for you e.g. “I’m sorry beautiful body. I’m so so sorry. I’m sorry for what happened to you. Please, please forgive me for neglecting you. Please forgive me for judging you and treating you unkindly. I love you. I love you so so much. I will take care of you. Thank you for protecting me. Thank you for doing the best you could.” This is an adaptation to the prayer. It has the same underlying message. Feel free to play around with it. I find when I’m focussing on my body and saying the mantra, I receive messages or guidance about how I can help my body, and miraculously, the pain often eases or shifts completely.
When we have pain or there is something about our body we don’t like, it can be difficult to detach from the outcome we want and just focus on loving and accepting that part of us. This process is not about forcing anything to happen. The more we push and want something to change, the more we lock it into place. We need to practice, without expectation of change. Aim for progress, not perfection.