Tag Archives: acceptance

The Power of Surrender

Today, with a full moon eclipse in Libra is a great day to surrender, to forgive and to be grateful. Emotionally decluttering, forgiving everyone and everything we haven’t yet forgiven and being grateful for past experiences (teachings) allows us to plant seeds of desire and move a step closer to the life of our dreams. To finding the peace we seek.

Most of this year is under the influence of Saturn and Neptune with Jupiter coming into play at the moment as well. This means we are being supported by the planets to make changes in our lives, to release and transcend old patterns that no longer serve us, in a way that is gently powerful. To surrender in a way that we may not have thought about before. Resistance falls away paving the path for us to know ourselves on a deeper level, to feel inspired about our life and to let go where needed.

The Power of Surrender

To support us in surrendering during this time of transparency and transcendence and to allow that which is no longer needed to wash away from our energy field, I have chosen a card for the week from Judith Orloff’s card deck The Power of Surrender. A message to transform your life by letting go.

The card I have chosen is relevant to you because you’re reading this now.

The card is Surrender the Habit of People-Pleasing. Speak your needs and be true to yourself. Focus on your own happiness instead of always trying to please others. It’s not your role to make others happy. It’s your role to enjoy your own life and to be accountable for your own happiness.

Feeling good or seeking pleasure is not something you need to earn or wait for someone else to give you permission. Being unhappy can’t make another person happy. Happiness is a choice and occurs in the present moment. In each and every moment, we can choose to be happy no matter what. Give yourself permission to be happy now, to enjoy everything you do and to seek out pleasurably experiences. Have fun now! Put yourself first and surrender the habit of pleasing others before yourself. You deserve it. Allow old habits to wash away with the waning of the full moon.

finding peace in surrender IMG_9691

Children Learn What They Live

contemplation

 

CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE


If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.

If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.

If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.

If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.

If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.

If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.

If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.

If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.

If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.

If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.

If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.

If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.

If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.

If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.

If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.

If children live with fairness, they learn justice.

If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.

If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and those about them.

If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

Dorothy Law Nolte (1924-2005)

 

tiptoesDorothy Nolte wrote this poem in 1954 as part of her weekly column on creative family living for a local newspaper. At this time in the 1950s, and for many years later, parents raised their children by telling them what to do and what not to do. I grew up in the 1960s and 70s with this model of parenting, although I don’t regard my childhood as anything like ‘normal.’  

Nolte recognised that parent’s greatest influence on their children is the example they set as role models in everyday life. She, herself became a role model for parents and the wisdom in her words continue to be inspirational today.   

I’d like to see every parent be given a copy of this poem as a reminder of the responsibility that comes with the important role of parenting.  

Actually, that is exactly what happened! The poem was widely circulated by readers of her newspaper column and was distributed to millions of new parents by a maker of baby formula.  

She copyrighted it in 1972 and expanded it into a book in 1998.  

What is your child learning?  

Are you consciously modelling what you’d like your children to learn? 

What did you learn from your childhood?  

What would you like to have learnt?  

I was personally touched by the message in this poem and I urge you to reflect on your own childhood and on your own parenting / grand-parenting, without judgement. I believe that parents do the best they can with the resources they have available to them, so please reflect but don’t judge yourself or beat yourself up if you think you can or could have done better. 

Even though this poem was written almost 60 years ago, the message is just as relevant today. I think it is worth reading regularly and if you are a parent, I hope it gives you both inspiration and courage to be the best role model you possibly can for your children. If this message touches your heart, as it did mine, please share this message with others.  

You can read more wisdom from Nolte and her co-author, Rachel Harris, as they expand on each of the learnings in her poem, in their book of the same title.  

The late Dorothy Nolte, PhD was a lifelong teacher and lecturer on family life education and was friends with Rachel Harris, PhD (a psychotherapist with post-graduate training in family therapy) for more than 25 years.

 ‘This book can help you become the parent you have always wanted to be, and raise the kind of children you can always be proud of.’ 

From the foreword by Jack Canfield, co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series.

 Reference:

Dorothy Law Nolte and Rachel Harris, ‘Children Learn What They Live’ Finch Publishing, Sydney, 1998 

Authenticity ~ Living Your Truth

Authenticity, noun ~ undisputed credibility, genuineness, legitimacy, believability, credibility – the quality of being believable or trustworthy. 

earth glow2013 is a year of Authenticity. Since the beginning of the Aquarian Age following the 21 December 2012 solstice, the Earth has been flooded with more light. This light illuminates everything on Earth and will reach even the darkest of places. Where there is light, there can be no darkness, because the darkness is transformed.  

That which is of a lower vibrating energy will be illuminated this year for all to see. That which has been hidden will be exposed. No one is immune to the light. There is nowhere to hide. Scandals will be exposed, involving governments, corporations, businesses, celebrities and possibly even friends and acquaintances. OK, I hear you saying, scandals involving celebrities are nothing new!   

Are you living your truth? Now is the time for you to consider bringing more light into your life and illuminate any fear, guilt and shame you may have, and move into a more authentic life. 

How can we bring light into our life? We simply do this through our intention. What does this mean? If we think of light as love, we can consciously choose to breath in love and bring this into our body. We can align with the vibration of love by feeling love in our hearts. 

Think of someone or a pet you love unconditionally or remember a time in your life when you felt loved by another and bring the feeling of this love into your body. Practice this feeling as often as you can with the aim of living there all the time, and your life will change.  

bears and book

When you are in the vibration of love, you can shift many things in your life, such as your health, your relationships and even your finances. When you are living at this vibration of love, you also raise the vibration of others around you. Life becomes more enjoyable and fulfilling. 

As fear can not co-exist in the presence of light and love, we can shine the light on our fears and see them dissolve. Keeping our fears hidden can be draining on our energy and on our health. We spend more energy trying to hide our fears than we can afford.  

Fears are a projection of something in the future; something that may or may not happen. They are based in the past – past thoughts, beliefs and experiences. So to dissolve our fears, we need to be in the present moment.  

A simple exercise to facilitate this is to name your fears out loud, then immediately bring your attention to the present. You can do this by simply noticing something in front of you such as the coffee cup on your desk, the scene from your window, the picture on the wall – whatever may be right in front of you.  

Bringing your full attention to a part of your body such as your hands, your feet, or your breath is also a good way to be present. You can stroke our hand and really notice how that feels – notice the sensation of touch, warmth, pressure etc. Alternatively you can put your attention on the space between your feet and the floor and notice how that feels. Another technique is to just notice your breath, without trying to control it. Is there a temperature difference between your inhalation and your exhalation? 

These are all techniques to help you be present in the moment. When you are present in the moment, or being mindful, you can not feel fear, just like light and dark can not co-exist. 

scared little boy oldWhen you feel fear creeping back into your mind, allow it to be there, acknowledge it and thank it for showing up for you. Don’t try to push it away or judge yourself for having this feeling, just allow it to be there and accept it as a natural human emotion. 

It will be showing up for a reason. It may have a message for you or it may simply want to be acknowledged so that it can leave your body. 

If at any time, you feel yourself overcome with fear, or even just feel slightly stressed during your day, bring your attention to the present moment and shift your energy into a more peaceful restful state. Your body will thank you for this. It only takes a moment, needs no special equipment and can be practiced anytime and anywhere. 

Releasing your fears and any hidden emotions of shame, guilt or lack (which are all extensions of fear) will help you move into a more authentic you. What have you got to lose? Now is the time for you to start living your truth as the Universe is supporting you.

Unexpressed Grief

My Dad was an avid sportsman; one of those people who excelled at any sport he turned his hand to. He played tennis, golf and cricket and competed in wood-chopping events at regional shows. He loved his farm where fattening cattle and growing cash and fodder crops allowed him to live his dream. He was a loving and doting husband and father and his children adored him. At 31, he was at his prime enjoying life and his young family.  

It was at this time that his life was cut short as a result of a car accident. He left behind his wife of ten years and four young children, aged from two to eight years. 

Today, the first of May, is the anniversary of my Dad’s passing. Although it has been 51 years, he has never been forgotten. 

I was his baby girl and at two years old when he passed, I have only vague memories of feeling safe and comforted when held in his arms. I do however, recall a time when I was wandering the house looking for him, feeling scared and alone, crying out for his attention. I believe this would have been sometime in the days following his passing. Although I never really knew my Dad, I have never doubted his love for me. When I tune into his energy now, I am filled with a sense of love and peace. 

As time passed, memories of my Dad faded and because of my age and lack of understanding of death, I never grieved for him. Due to the paucity of my memories, the need to grieve his loss didn’t even enter my mind, even as an adult.

However, unbeknown to me, I incubated this unexpressed grief carrying it with me throughout my life, until it needed to be released, like the steam in a pressure cooker. It was fifty years after his death, when the pressure valve was finally discharged and I was left emotionally spent. 

It was April 2012 and my niece, Abbie was getting married in an outdoor ceremony at a beachside resort. As she linked her arm through her father’s and made her way onto the rose petal littered carpeted aisle to meet her husband-to-be under the shade of a white wedding canopy, all eyes were on Abbie. 

But my eyes were fixed on her father, my brother. Bruce had walked me down the aisle when I was married 30 years ago, but this was different. This was his only daughter, and the pride and love he had for her was palpable.  

As I looked at my brother sharing a nervous laugh with his daughter as they edged closer to their destination, I saw him in a way different to how I had known him before. I saw him as the loving, doting and proud father that he is and this triggered something inside me. 

My eyes grew heavier until I could no longer fight the battle to hold back the tears and they cascaded down my face. Equally surprised and embarrassed by my outpouring of emotions, I did my best to keep a dry face, consoling myself with thoughts of ‘no one would be looking at me.’  

Little did I know at the time, this was only the start of my tears that day. After the reception and in the confines of my room, the floodgates were opened. The barrier had been breached and the floodwaters arrived. I was inconsolable, and sobbed incessantly and uncontrollably for over two hours until I finally fell asleep, totally exhausted. The following morning brought more tears and despite my best efforts to shut them down, they needed to come out. They continued to pour out until gradually easing off over the following week. 

Confused about the intensity of my emotions, I reasoned in my mind that it must be because I was menopausal. What other explanation could there be? However, deep inside, I had an uneasy feeling that I would never see my brother again. I was afraid that something was going to happen to him and I wanted to hold on to our connection as a family. 

It was another six months before I understood my emotional breakdown had nothing to do with my brother, but was an expression of grief for my Dad. When I saw my brother at the wedding and felt the loving connection he had with his daughter, I knew in my body what I had missed out on with my Dad. 

This was the first time in my life I understood on a visceral level what a strong loving relationship between a father and daughter could be like. And it saddened me to my core as it ignited the sense of loss I felt for my Dad but had denied for half a century. 

When I looked at Bruce walking Abbie down the aisle, I saw my father, not my brother. 

The feeling I had that I’d never see my brother again, was my two year old self knowing she didn’t get to say goodbye to her father. I knew the close family connection I was yearning for at the time of the wedding, had been broken all those years ago. For awhile, I tried to hold on to remnants of that family closeness by suggesting regular family get togethers, while knowing in my heart, the connection could never be repaired. The bond had been broken fifty years ago. 

It is recognised that children less than three years of age have little or no understanding of the meaning or significance of death. However, that doesn’t mean they don’t feel the loss or that they don’t need to grieve. This grief may go unrecognised and unexpressed for many years, waiting patiently for as long as it takes to have its expression. 

Renown grief expert, Dr Elisabeth Kübler-Ross wrote in her book, On Death and Dying (1969) ‘grief has a fail-safe mechanism that will hold itself intact until a child is old enough or psychologically prepared enough to deal with it.’ 

It took 50 years for me to express my grief for the loss of my Dad. I had carried it for all those years without knowing it was even there, and without understanding it needed to be expressed. 

Today on the fifty-first anniversary of his passing, I lovingly celebrate and honour my Dad, Gilbert Thompson Summers (21.11.1930 ~ 01.05.1962).  

 

‘I cannot think of any need in childhood

as strong as the need for a father’s protection.’

Sigmund Freud

Kaye

01 May 2013

Louise Hay ~ Forgiveness Can Transform Your Life

 

“Forgiveness wipes the slate clean, so that other things can come in.”

That’s a quote of Louise Hay from this transforming video that I think you should see here:

 

 

Louise L Hay talks candidly with Nick Ortner

 

Love, forgiveness and self-acceptance are the most powerful gifts anybody can give themselves.

 

But getting to a point where you can turn off the background negativity isn’t always easy…   You know what I mean, the “I’m not smart enough”, “Who do I think I am?”, “I’m not lovable”, “I can’t be successful” type of comments. These types of comments severely limit our ability to fully express who we are and live the life we want. In this video, Louise will share with you her personal struggle with growing up feeling that she wasn’t good enough.

 

She’ll open up about how she struggled emotionally and share a particularly traumatic incident from when she was 5 years old when her stepfather was holding her head under water and how it was affecting her 81 years later. 

 

In this rare video interview, Louise Hay sits down with Nick Ortner, producer of the upcoming 5th Annual Tapping World Summit, and shares why she believes Tapping is such an important self-care technique and why you should use it.

 

Watch this video, tap along with Louise, share in her on-camera Tapping experience and have your own experience as you tap along with her.

 

The last 10 minutes are especially powerful as Louise herself takes you through an extremely meditative Tapping process that brings her to tears of happiness. It just may do the same for you! 

 

http://thetappingsolution.com/cmd.php?Clk=4943985

 

To allowing self-acceptance,

 

Kaye Hazel

 

P.S. Through this video you’ll also learn Louise’s secrets for using Tapping to allow forgiveness, love and self-acceptance into your life, so that you can be free of the things from your past that are holding you back.

 

If you want to create the life of your dreams, I believe this video to be an important step in that process.

 

 

P.P.S.  At about the 3 minute mark Louise talks about why somebody should look at the truth of what’s going on in their life.

What she says is one of the most profound and eye-opening explanations I’ve ever heard on this topic of positive focus versus negative focus when Tapping.  You’re going to love what she says!  

 

Click here to watch this insightful video now.

 

What other transformational leaders are saying about Tapping:

 

Dr. Wayne Dyer recently said “Put away your skepticism, this really works…I’ve had great results with tapping in my own life.”

 

Jack Canfield calls it  “the most powerful new transformational technology to come along in years”

 

Lissa Rankin M.D. says “For those seeking a prescription for eliminating limiting, self-sabotaging beliefs that lead to fear, anxiety, and chronic illness, look no further than The Tapping Solution.”

 

http://thetappingsolution.com/cmd.php?Clk=4943985