Monthly Archives: May 2013

Words Can Change Your Life

Words can change your life.

Have you ever read a book that more than touched you, in that it changed your life in some way?  

I would suggest this is the goal of all writers. Yes it is nice to be financially rewarded for your masterpiece, but I think the deepest desire of writers is to really touch the lives of others. Writing from your heart and sharing your inner thoughts on the page can be like running naked through a field, feeling exposed with nowhere to hide. 

All too often, authors will never know how their words have impacted the lives of their readers. 

The book that changed my life was “Your Soul’s Plan – Discovering the Real Meaning of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born” by Robert Schwartz. 

your soul's planBefore I read this book, I was living as a victim collecting evidence everyday to support the belief that my life was unfair. I had a long list of experiences as proof of this belief. The death of my parents when I was a child, the emotional, physical and sexual abuse perpetrated by a stepfather, the disparity of assets distribution from my Mum’s estate, not being paid properly by bosses, even missed opportunities. The Universe was matching my vibration of inequity and injustice with more of the same.    

Reading “Your Soul’s Plan” was the catalyst for me to turn my life around. I changed the way I looked at my life and my life changed. I stopped trying to change my past and accepted my life for what it was. I accepted my childhood as having meaning and purpose rather than being a mistake. 

This book showed me that our life’s challenges are (mostly) pre-planned before we incarnate and each experience we have during our lifetime has meaning and a purpose for our soul’s expansion. I came to understand that all the experiences in my life were happening FOR me and nothing was happening TO me. 

My changed outlook on life allowed me to grieve for the loss of my parents and the loss of my childhood. The years of escalating depression that hung over me like a dark cloud lifted to reveal blue skies of love and possibility, and a purpose for living. 

I am truly grateful for Robert Schwartz for bringing this book into being and touching me in such a positive and life-changing manner. 

What book has changed your life?

I’d love to hear your story.

Kaye

Authenticity ~ Living Your Truth

Authenticity, noun ~ undisputed credibility, genuineness, legitimacy, believability, credibility – the quality of being believable or trustworthy. 

earth glow2013 is a year of Authenticity. Since the beginning of the Aquarian Age following the 21 December 2012 solstice, the Earth has been flooded with more light. This light illuminates everything on Earth and will reach even the darkest of places. Where there is light, there can be no darkness, because the darkness is transformed.  

That which is of a lower vibrating energy will be illuminated this year for all to see. That which has been hidden will be exposed. No one is immune to the light. There is nowhere to hide. Scandals will be exposed, involving governments, corporations, businesses, celebrities and possibly even friends and acquaintances. OK, I hear you saying, scandals involving celebrities are nothing new!   

Are you living your truth? Now is the time for you to consider bringing more light into your life and illuminate any fear, guilt and shame you may have, and move into a more authentic life. 

How can we bring light into our life? We simply do this through our intention. What does this mean? If we think of light as love, we can consciously choose to breath in love and bring this into our body. We can align with the vibration of love by feeling love in our hearts. 

Think of someone or a pet you love unconditionally or remember a time in your life when you felt loved by another and bring the feeling of this love into your body. Practice this feeling as often as you can with the aim of living there all the time, and your life will change.  

bears and book

When you are in the vibration of love, you can shift many things in your life, such as your health, your relationships and even your finances. When you are living at this vibration of love, you also raise the vibration of others around you. Life becomes more enjoyable and fulfilling. 

As fear can not co-exist in the presence of light and love, we can shine the light on our fears and see them dissolve. Keeping our fears hidden can be draining on our energy and on our health. We spend more energy trying to hide our fears than we can afford.  

Fears are a projection of something in the future; something that may or may not happen. They are based in the past – past thoughts, beliefs and experiences. So to dissolve our fears, we need to be in the present moment.  

A simple exercise to facilitate this is to name your fears out loud, then immediately bring your attention to the present. You can do this by simply noticing something in front of you such as the coffee cup on your desk, the scene from your window, the picture on the wall – whatever may be right in front of you.  

Bringing your full attention to a part of your body such as your hands, your feet, or your breath is also a good way to be present. You can stroke our hand and really notice how that feels – notice the sensation of touch, warmth, pressure etc. Alternatively you can put your attention on the space between your feet and the floor and notice how that feels. Another technique is to just notice your breath, without trying to control it. Is there a temperature difference between your inhalation and your exhalation? 

These are all techniques to help you be present in the moment. When you are present in the moment, or being mindful, you can not feel fear, just like light and dark can not co-exist. 

scared little boy oldWhen you feel fear creeping back into your mind, allow it to be there, acknowledge it and thank it for showing up for you. Don’t try to push it away or judge yourself for having this feeling, just allow it to be there and accept it as a natural human emotion. 

It will be showing up for a reason. It may have a message for you or it may simply want to be acknowledged so that it can leave your body. 

If at any time, you feel yourself overcome with fear, or even just feel slightly stressed during your day, bring your attention to the present moment and shift your energy into a more peaceful restful state. Your body will thank you for this. It only takes a moment, needs no special equipment and can be practiced anytime and anywhere. 

Releasing your fears and any hidden emotions of shame, guilt or lack (which are all extensions of fear) will help you move into a more authentic you. What have you got to lose? Now is the time for you to start living your truth as the Universe is supporting you.

Unexpressed Grief

My Dad was an avid sportsman; one of those people who excelled at any sport he turned his hand to. He played tennis, golf and cricket and competed in wood-chopping events at regional shows. He loved his farm where fattening cattle and growing cash and fodder crops allowed him to live his dream. He was a loving and doting husband and father and his children adored him. At 31, he was at his prime enjoying life and his young family.  

It was at this time that his life was cut short as a result of a car accident. He left behind his wife of ten years and four young children, aged from two to eight years. 

Today, the first of May, is the anniversary of my Dad’s passing. Although it has been 51 years, he has never been forgotten. 

I was his baby girl and at two years old when he passed, I have only vague memories of feeling safe and comforted when held in his arms. I do however, recall a time when I was wandering the house looking for him, feeling scared and alone, crying out for his attention. I believe this would have been sometime in the days following his passing. Although I never really knew my Dad, I have never doubted his love for me. When I tune into his energy now, I am filled with a sense of love and peace. 

As time passed, memories of my Dad faded and because of my age and lack of understanding of death, I never grieved for him. Due to the paucity of my memories, the need to grieve his loss didn’t even enter my mind, even as an adult.

However, unbeknown to me, I incubated this unexpressed grief carrying it with me throughout my life, until it needed to be released, like the steam in a pressure cooker. It was fifty years after his death, when the pressure valve was finally discharged and I was left emotionally spent. 

It was April 2012 and my niece, Abbie was getting married in an outdoor ceremony at a beachside resort. As she linked her arm through her father’s and made her way onto the rose petal littered carpeted aisle to meet her husband-to-be under the shade of a white wedding canopy, all eyes were on Abbie. 

But my eyes were fixed on her father, my brother. Bruce had walked me down the aisle when I was married 30 years ago, but this was different. This was his only daughter, and the pride and love he had for her was palpable.  

As I looked at my brother sharing a nervous laugh with his daughter as they edged closer to their destination, I saw him in a way different to how I had known him before. I saw him as the loving, doting and proud father that he is and this triggered something inside me. 

My eyes grew heavier until I could no longer fight the battle to hold back the tears and they cascaded down my face. Equally surprised and embarrassed by my outpouring of emotions, I did my best to keep a dry face, consoling myself with thoughts of ‘no one would be looking at me.’  

Little did I know at the time, this was only the start of my tears that day. After the reception and in the confines of my room, the floodgates were opened. The barrier had been breached and the floodwaters arrived. I was inconsolable, and sobbed incessantly and uncontrollably for over two hours until I finally fell asleep, totally exhausted. The following morning brought more tears and despite my best efforts to shut them down, they needed to come out. They continued to pour out until gradually easing off over the following week. 

Confused about the intensity of my emotions, I reasoned in my mind that it must be because I was menopausal. What other explanation could there be? However, deep inside, I had an uneasy feeling that I would never see my brother again. I was afraid that something was going to happen to him and I wanted to hold on to our connection as a family. 

It was another six months before I understood my emotional breakdown had nothing to do with my brother, but was an expression of grief for my Dad. When I saw my brother at the wedding and felt the loving connection he had with his daughter, I knew in my body what I had missed out on with my Dad. 

This was the first time in my life I understood on a visceral level what a strong loving relationship between a father and daughter could be like. And it saddened me to my core as it ignited the sense of loss I felt for my Dad but had denied for half a century. 

When I looked at Bruce walking Abbie down the aisle, I saw my father, not my brother. 

The feeling I had that I’d never see my brother again, was my two year old self knowing she didn’t get to say goodbye to her father. I knew the close family connection I was yearning for at the time of the wedding, had been broken all those years ago. For awhile, I tried to hold on to remnants of that family closeness by suggesting regular family get togethers, while knowing in my heart, the connection could never be repaired. The bond had been broken fifty years ago. 

It is recognised that children less than three years of age have little or no understanding of the meaning or significance of death. However, that doesn’t mean they don’t feel the loss or that they don’t need to grieve. This grief may go unrecognised and unexpressed for many years, waiting patiently for as long as it takes to have its expression. 

Renown grief expert, Dr Elisabeth Kübler-Ross wrote in her book, On Death and Dying (1969) ‘grief has a fail-safe mechanism that will hold itself intact until a child is old enough or psychologically prepared enough to deal with it.’ 

It took 50 years for me to express my grief for the loss of my Dad. I had carried it for all those years without knowing it was even there, and without understanding it needed to be expressed. 

Today on the fifty-first anniversary of his passing, I lovingly celebrate and honour my Dad, Gilbert Thompson Summers (21.11.1930 ~ 01.05.1962).  

 

‘I cannot think of any need in childhood

as strong as the need for a father’s protection.’

Sigmund Freud

Kaye

01 May 2013